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Brilio.net/en - Just like all 20-somethings dream of doing, Mara Jos Coni and Marina Menegazzo spent weeks traveling together exploring the east coast of South America. From exotic Lima, Peru, to "Mitad Del Mundo" (middle of the world) in Ecuador, they were taking pictures with as bright, happy smile as two young and free drifters could have.
Image via facebook.com
But sadly, things went off track and their adventure met a horrible and tragic end in the Ecuadorian coastal city of Montaita.
The two Argentinian girls were offered a place to stay by two men they didn't know, and days later, their bodies were found in plastic bags.
According to Upworthy, the flood of support for the victims family came in no time, but with it came a bitter subtext.
Many offered their overwhelming support and condolences, including Argentinian President Mauricio Macri. However, others were quick to ask how Maria and Marina may have put themselves at risk, a thought process often referred to as victim blaming.
A psychiatrist even support this victim-blame, explaining that the girls were propitiatory victim(s) who took the risk that made the crime possible, and women will continue to be killed if they don't take precautions for their safety.
Argentinian media Infobae published a video on their Facebook page asking people if they would let their daughters travel to Ecuador after the tragic incident happened with the two girls. The responses were disappointingly predictable.
No, no way. Not alone, one person responded. Much less if they are women. They are at a physical disadvantage.
The bitter response has been picked up by a Paraguayan students, as she had enough of the victim blaming. Guadalupe Acosta decided to speak out, but not as herself.
She took to Facebook, where she wrote a letter from the graveyard, written from the perspective of one of the two women that were convicted those who blamed for her own death.
(WARNING: Graphic descriptions of violence below.)
Acostas viral post started with this thing:
Yesterday I was killed. I refused to be touched, and they burst my skull with a stick. I got stabbed and was left to die bleeding.
Her writing continues, contrasting the pain of death with the humiliation of being blamed for it:
Worse than death was the humiliation that followed. From the time they had my dead body, nobody asked where the son of a bitch that ended my dreams, my hopes and my life was. No, rather than that they started asking me useless questions... What clothes did you wear? Why were you alone? Why would a woman travel alone? You got into a dangerous neighborhood, what did you expect?
She also argues that the story would be responded differently if she, the victim, were a man:
Being a woman, it is minimized. It becomes less severe because of course I asked for it. Doing what I wanted to do, I found what I deserved for not being submissive, not wanting to stay at home, for investing my own money in my dreams. For that and more, I was sentenced.
Despite the strong, bitter message inside, this became viral and has been shared more than 700,000 times.
Too often we see women blamed for horrible things happened to them, and this post is a stinging criticism of the society. Weve had enough of this inequality. Rape victims are asked what they were wearing, or why they put themselves in a dangerous position. Women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted are told that they simply provoking someone's intentions or led them on.
But weirdly, society's tendency to victim blame makes sense. There's something strangely comforting about suggesting that the victim of a crime could have done something differently to change their fate. It assures us that we could survive in a similar situation if only we did something differently.
Well, it might make sense. It might be true. But thats not the point. Such victim-blaming tendencies mean we end up ignoring the fact that, 100% of the time, the criminal of the murder is the one at fault. Theyre the one who shouldve done differently, and they're the ones who should be held accountable for their actions.
If Mara and Marina hadn't gone with the killers in Montaita, sure, maybe they'd still be alive. But the men probably would've found other victims, and two other girls would be dead, and we'd be having the same conversation, and nothing would change.
Thanks to Guadalupe Acosta, Maria and Marina got the chance to tell the world that their deaths, while tragic, were not their fault.
Image via facebook.com
We'll never get to see what Mara Jos Coni and Marina Menegazzo could've grown up to do with their lives. They were friends, they were daughters, they were travelers, and their lives were ended at a time when they should've only just begun.
Acosta's letter isnt just dedicated to Maria and Marina. They're for every survivor and victim of violence who've ever been told it's their fault. Or that they could've prevented it. Or that they should've done something different.
As Acosta writes in her letter on their behalf:
"I ask you, on behalf of myself and every other woman ever hushed, silenced; I ask you on behalf of every woman whose life was crushed, to raise your voice. We will fight. Ill be with you in spirit."
(brl/tis)
