Brilio.net - The case of the quarrel between Nikita Mirzani and her daughter, Lolly, has caught the public's attention. Conflicts between mothers and daughters often heat up, even ending in strained relationships. Many believe that a mother's harsh attitude can be the main trigger for this problem. However, this phenomenon is not uncommon in many families.
The relationship between mothers and daughters does have different dynamics, and it is not uncommon for conflicts to occur. Arguments between mothers and daughters are often more intense than between sons. Many wonder why this happens.
The psychology of daughters and their role in the family often influences how they interact with their mothers. From a psychological perspective, this dynamic is actually quite explainable. The emotional closeness between mothers and daughters is usually very strong, but this closeness can actually trigger more frequent conflicts.
The triggers for arguments often come from small things that are then blown out of proportion due to strong emotional attachments. However, with a deeper understanding, there are more effective ways to resolve such conflicts.
Here are the five main reasons why daughters fight with their mothers more often from a psychological perspective, as well as solutions that can be applied, compiled by brilio.net from various sources, Tuesday (24/9).
1. Complex identity search.
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As girls enter adolescence, they begin to search for their identity and want to be more independent. This phase of searching for identity often clashes with the role of the mother who still wants to protect and supervise her child.
Girls often begin to question their mother's authority, which can lead to conflict. According to Erik Erikson's developmental theory, adolescence is a crucial phase in the search for identity and role in social life.
Solution: Give your daughter space to make her own life choices. Let her make small mistakes and learn from them. This can build her self-confidence and reduce tension in the mother-daughter relationship.
2. Higher social expectations.
Mothers often place higher expectations on their daughters than on their sons. They may expect their daughters to be perfect, whether in education, appearance, or behavior.
These high expectations can make children feel pressured and inadequate, which can lead to arguments. Gender role theory also suggests that girls are often expected to be more ideal in the eyes of society.
Solution: Try to reduce your expectations too high. Instead of focusing on the end result, appreciate the effort your daughter has put in. With a more flexible approach, the relationship between mother and daughter will become more positive and open.
3. Intense emotional closeness.
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Mothers and daughters often have a very close relationship, especially emotionally. This closeness can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they can support and share with each other, but on the other hand, the high emotional intensity can make them more likely to disagree. These arguments can occur because they feel so attached to each other that anything, no matter how small, can trigger an argument.
Solution: It is important for mothers and daughters to learn to balance their relationship. Open communication and not rushing to respond to feelings can help reduce the intensity of conflict. By understanding each other's emotions, arguments can be minimized.
4. Questionable control and authority.
Mothers often feel that they have complete authority over their children's decisions, including daughters. However, as daughters grow older, they often begin to question this control. Feelings of independence and freedom from their mother's authority can lead to more frequent arguments, especially when it comes to personal decisions.
Solution: Try to be more flexible in giving freedom to girls. Involve them in decision making and value their opinions. This way, they feel more appreciated and arguments about authority can be reduced.
5. Hormonal influences.
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During adolescence, girls experience significant hormonal changes, which can affect their mood. These hormonal fluctuations often make them more irritable and sensitive, which can lead to more frequent conflicts with their mothers. The American Psychological Association (APA) explains that teenage girls are more prone to drastic mood swings than boys.
Solution: Realize that these hormonal changes are part of the growing process. Don't immediately respond to your daughter's emotional reactions with anger or frustration. Try to be more patient and understand that these mood swings are temporary and can be managed with good communication.