Brilio.net/en - People said their vows on wedding days for better and for worse but sometimes people cant handle the worse. Apparently a study says that one-third of weddings end up with divorce and the number is increasing each day. So before you even jump to nuptial (or to be prepared for the worst case scenario if you have been in), here are some things that could precipitated divorce, compiled by family law firm McKinley Irvin:
1. Having an online affair
Either physical or not, an affair is still an affair. 54% of men said this could not be considered to be adultery, but the other agrees that a slightest act of affair, no matter how small, already shows and indication of infidelity. You must be aware of this because sooner or later, when your marriage boat is rocking or the temptation is high, someone may be leaving the boat to find better comfort. Make sure youre well prepared and have prevention for this.
2. Spending more than USD 20,000 on your wedding*
The experts say that if you already spend so much on the party before even starting the life together, you might be setting yourself back financially. Life after wedding is the most important thing in the marriage because, after all, wedding takes place only for a day and wedding should last a lifetime. If youre already spending too much at front, make sure your preparation for the years after is so much more.
3. Not going to college
Research says that the smarter the person, the wiser they are. Educated people tend to handle problems better, therefore to keep their marriage. Also, people with less education tend to have more financial problems and this may be the most popular cause of turbulence in marriage. If you couldnt make it to college, however, it is never too late to enrich yourself to avoid arguments with your spouse.
4. Having to commute longer than 45 minutes
Being in traffic for a long time tends to make people unhappy and it can affect to their mood at home. Study shows that 14% of people who have to travel at such distance to and from work daily, choose to end their marriage. Make a habit in your daily life that whatever happened in the office stays at office and you come home each day with a bright new mood. Remember that the happy family at home is the most important key to a happy life.
5. Rolling your eyes at your partner
Obviously, rolling eyes at your partner means you are not respecting that person. Lack of respect is can be an early detector for unhealthy, broken relationship. If you see your partner do this to you, make some introspection on yourself. Or if you feel like you are the one who start doing this, have a seat together and discuss the problem until you can find the main problem. Even better, go on a second honeymoon vacation to rekindle the fading spark.
6. Having a daughter
This might make you roll your eyes now. But the 2010 research says that when a couple is having a daughter involved in their problems, the mother is likely to leave. The reason is because women would like to set good example for their daughters so theyre less willing to put up with bullshit. Having a son, on the other hand, makes family want to stay together. You may think this theory is nonsense, but the number says the other way.
7. Using social media too much
The advanced technology makes way easier for people, and sometimes becomes too easy. A study shows that social media has been one of the most popular causes of so many divorce cases. In UK alone, one-third of the divorce cases in 2012 caused by Facebook. When your spouse is being too active in social media and the responders are mostly from opposite gender, you must start to be aware of this.
8. Marrying someone either way older or way younger
Although some marriages with age gap can survive a long and harmonious relationship, but most of the time they hit problems in the middle of the way. When your age gap is more than five years, the ability to adapt with each other becomes less and this may cause divorce, sooner or later. It is said that the closer someone is in age to you, the easier it is to get along with each other. This is not always a guarantee, but this may be a problem.
9. Not being equal in household duties
Funny as it sounds, but in the USA this may cause a trouble. Asian housewives already trained to do the chores and serve the family so maybe this wont be a problem. But in Norway, most divorced people are those who did share the chores. It is always different with every culture, but every little thing that happens or shared at home becomes the most essential thing that matter in relationship, so you must be clear and fair about that from the first time.
*) This number is according to USA standard. In Indonesia or Asia, the average cost and standard of wedding can be so much more.