Brilio.net/en - Over the recent years just like meditation, gardening has become the new hip of the millenial. Other than helping you to get connected with nature, gardening can also offer some wisdoms in love and life.
Here are four love lessons that I learned from gardening:
1. Everything takes time, sit back and trust the process
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I bought this lemon trees, and it has immediately become my most prized possession. But after several months of tender, caring and love, I started to convince myself that my plant must be fake or a defective plant that is. In my barren eyes, it doesnt grow; let alone producing a lemon.
I started to give up. This may be a lost case. And then just like that, in a fine morning after raining, a bud came out, followed by beautiful white flowers. And before I know it, tiny lemons started dropping out of the stem. My fake lemon tree is not fake after all; it just needs time to grow at a perfect season.
And so does love & relationship. It takes time to grow. It needs a proper care, unconditional love, and lots of trust. Trust that it will grow. Or sometimes it wont. And thats okay.
As long you keep tilling your soils, and in this case, investing in yourself. Making sure that you, as a person possesses all the qualities to make a good relationship grow, you would not need to worry. Because if this lemon tree fails to grow, the next one will come. And by then, your soils are very much nourished and ready. And just like that, in a perfect timing, it will start to grow and you can enjoy that bittersweet sensation that both lemon and love gives.
2. Too much love will kill you
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A common mistake for a rookie gardener is over-watering, which I wholeheartedly admit in doing. I thought that I was doing the ultimate act of care by watering my chili plant almost every day. I thought Im showing my love.
As does in a relationship, nagging and clinging would be the representation of the overwatering. When you are in love, of course you want to be with your beloved in every second and every minute. But it took me a dying chili to understand that your partner is his/her own person who needs space. Backing off a little wont hurt.
Instead of overwatering your relationship, direct some of that TLC to yourself. Improve your own self, because tending a chili or a relationship should not be a reason for you to stop tending your own amazing self.
3. Sometimes you find love in an unexpected place
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So you bought that expensive flower, and just within a week it withered and die. You regret so much, you start beating yourself up. You think that you dont deserve to tend an expensive flower and everything that you touch, dies.
Then, the next morning, you found a tiny sprout of wild flower started to pop out in the graveyard of your ex-expensive flower. And you found miracle. Its not the same expensive flowers, but this one is wild, resistant and better suited for your garden. This one will live long and will forever bring smiles to your face as you see it blooms.
Lesson learned? Stop crying over a dead love, no matter how expensive it was. Things happened because other things need to happen. Its not a matter of how great the flower or relationship was, its about how they fit with you your house, the soil and temperature. And in a relationship, youll meet that wild flowers. Someone who understands you and fits you, just at it is. And trust me, when that happens, it wont be a hard work. It will just bloom without expectation.
4. Things die, and its okay
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Often times, when my plants die, I tend to take it too personal. But I love you, I took care of you, You were fine yesterday! I would say those things to my plants.
But there is no use of talking to a dead flower (that would just make me a crazy lady). Just as useless as chasing after dead relationship. You gave your best and things are going great. But season changes. Time flies. When the dry season comes, your plants need to wither to survive. Sometimes they die for real. But hey, sometimes, they come back to life. When the rains started pouring, some plants are resurrected and they are as lush as they ever been.
When your relationship fails. Dont beat yourself up. Dont blame the changing season. Just flow, let just be.
Its just the universe re-arranging itself. No one is at fault. Especially not you, hey beautiful!
Contributor: Nadia Bintoro