Brilio.net/en - Being disliked and shunned somehow make you feel worthless and lost in society. But nothing is worse than the hardcore people-pleaser.
We all know at least one in our social circle. You know the signs:he willsleep out under the rain and gets cold soafriends dog can fit in the tent. Ifhisfriends call her stupid,hewill come up with a huge red velvet cake with a Im sorry for disappointing youwritten on itmarzipan.
Well, this article isnt about disregarding other peoples feelings. Some people just try too hard. But we cant blame them; who doesnt want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?
If you were always trying to manipulate perception, adapting yourself to be accepted in a social circle, and somehow are left feeling drained, exhausted and unproductive, maybe its time to release and accept that you cant make everyone like you. Actually, there are many advantages when youre comfortable not being liked by everyone, as described by Lori Deschene, founder of Tiny Buddha:
1. You are allowed to be true to yourself
The biggest harm you can do to yourself is trying too hard to please your audience of the moment. Its exhausting (even to watch) and it doesnt make any sense. No one will get to know who you really are, and youll end up being fake all the time.
2. Youll have the power to say no but sometimes a yes will do
We believe people are good at heart. When youre willing to risk being disliked, youre able to say no when you need to. Your yess and nos shape your future, so choose them wisely. When you feel like giving a yes, do it though.
3. Youre comfortable to feel (or think) exactly like your true self
Many people decide to act fake in order to be accepted by society. But it would feel good to just be what you are, without pretending for someone elses sake.
Were not saying you should express your anger or fear, just that its pretty exhilarating to say, Hell yeahIm terrified (or lonely or awkward or bad) regardless of what people will think. Expressing your own feeling and thoughts might bring you into a risk of being disliked, but it feels good to be true to yourself.
4. Your frankness can help other people
It happens all the time in the movies, but actually in real life as well. Sometimes the least popular people strike the deepest chords in us. Be unpopular when necessary and push people to be their best. You have the opportunity to save someones life.
5. Youll get the ammo for greater success
Pick a popular Twitter user and look at their replies. Its surprising to find a fair share of harsh comments on it. The higher you rise, the more attention youll receive, both positive and negative. A willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny.
6. You can share kindness and compassion without expectation
Its rather easy to be kind to someone who treats you with respect and kindness. Whats more valuable for your personal development, and to humanity as whole, is the ability to do whats right because its rightnot because you get something in return, despite the risk of being disliked.
7.You can use your time wisely
If you want to be liked by everyone,youll do many things you actually dont want to do. Its likespreadingmargarineway too thin trying to keep them all happy.Its all just too exhausting.We need to use our timewiselyto enrich ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyones perceptions.
8. Your smile is a natural one
You could use your energy totakedaily inventory of everything thats wrongthe money you dont have, the esteem you didnt earn, the peoplewho didnt like you and tend to leave you behind. Or you could commit to being your best, and then just sit back and smile. Life will always be a balancing act. Learn toface hurricanesin serenity.