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Actually, there are many advantages when you’re comfortable not being liked by everyone.

Retno Wulandari   08 March 2016 11:35

Brilio.net - Being disliked and “shunned” somehow make you feel worthless and lost in society. But nothing is worse than the hardcore people-pleaser.

We all know at least one in our social circle. You know the signs: he will sleep out under the rain and gets cold so a friend’s dog can fit in the tent. If his friends call her stupid, he will come up with a huge red velvet cake with a “I’m sorry for disappointing you” written on it marzipan.

Well, this article isn’t about disregarding other people’s feelings. Some people just try too hard. But we can’t blame them; who doesn’t want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?

If you were always trying to manipulate perception, adapting yourself to be accepted in a social circle, and somehow are left feeling drained, exhausted and unproductive, maybe it’s time to release and accept that you can’t make everyone like you. Actually, there are many advantages when you’re comfortable not being liked by everyone, as described by Lori Deschene, founder of Tiny Buddha:

1. You are allowed to be true to yourself

The biggest harm you can do to yourself is trying too hard to please your “audience” of the moment. It’s exhausting (even to watch) and it doesn’t make any sense. No one will get to know who you really are, and you’ll end up being fake all the time.

2. You’ll have the power to say “no” but sometimes a “yes” will do

We believe people are good at heart. When you’re willing to risk being disliked, you’re able to say “no” when you need to. Your yes’s and no’s shape your future, so choose them wisely. When you feel like giving a “yes,” do it though.

3. You’re comfortable to feel (or think) exactly like your true self

Many people decide to act fake in order to be accepted by society. But it would feel good to just be what you are, without pretending for someone else’s sake.

We’re not saying you should express your anger or fear, just that it’s pretty exhilarating to say, “Hell yeah—I’m terrified” (or lonely or awkward or bad) regardless of what people will think. Expressing your own feeling and thoughts might bring you into a risk of being disliked, but it feels good to be true to yourself.

4. Your frankness can help other people

Image via womenspick

It happens all the time in the movies, but actually in real life as well. Sometimes the least popular people strike the deepest chords in us. Be unpopular when necessary and push people to be their best. You have the opportunity to save someone’s life.

5. You’ll get the ammo for greater success

Pick a popular Twitter user and look at their replies. It’s surprising to find a fair share of harsh comments on it. The higher you rise, the more attention you’ll receive, both positive and negative. A willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny.

6. You can share kindness and compassion without expectation

It’s rather easy to be kind to someone who treats you with respect and kindness. What’s more valuable for your personal development, and to humanity as whole, is the ability to do what’s right because it’s right—not because you get something in return, despite the risk of being disliked.

7. You can use your time wisely

Image via lifehack

If you want to be liked by everyone, you’ll do many things you actually don’t want to do. It’s like spreading margarine way too thin trying to keep them all happy. It’s all just too exhausting. We need to use our time wisely to enrich ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyone’s perceptions.

8. Your smile is a natural one

You could use your energy to take daily inventory of everything that’s wrong—the money you don’t have, the esteem you didn’t earn, the people who didn’t like you and tend to leave you behind. Or you could commit to being your best, and then just sit back and smile. Life will always be a balancing act. Learn toface hurricanes in serenity.


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